One of my female friends got mad at me the other day for basically not opening up to her or sharing. At that moment I had the realization that at my point in my life there are a lot of women who fulfill (the achievement of something desired, in this case) certain needs I have in my life.
No, I am not poly or a playa. Actually, if you know me, I am far from it. What I mean by this is that I am not in a committed relationship where this things are built and worked on. Instead, I’m in this phase of exploration and casual encounters (not the Craigslist definition of it).
These needs can be fulfilled by friends, and yes, even strangers.
I once met this girl at a cafe who loved Sci-Fi. We spent hours talking about the Alien movies and Blade Runner. I got her number and we hung out a few times but we were neither friends or significant others. We just fulfilled each other’s needs to geek out. I called it Casual Encounters of the Third Kind.
Sometimes you need someone to fulfill physical needs with you. I don’t think I need to explain this right? Again, this could be someone you met casually or yes, even a friend. However, communication and clarity is necessary in instances like this. Both people need to know it is nothing beyond that. There is a saying that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. Don’t make this true. I actually think a lot of time people just want something casual and discreet for the reason of fulfilling needs.
I have a lot of female friends who are married in which we joke that I am their 2nd husband. This is NEVER physical because I would never do that and a lot of times they married my friends. What I mean is we have great conversations about life and seek advice from one another. Emotional fulfillment.
Kind of on my own with this right now, but it is okay.
Right now I am splitting most of my life between New York and San Francisco. Other areas that I spend a lot of time in is Seattle and Paris. At the moment there is no woman who exists in all of these places at once. This person would have to be sitting next to me on the plane then, which I absolutely welcome. The location thing is what it is right now. Remember, just because there is a barrage of different people doesn’t mean I desire just one. I actually prefer that but I don’t want to force anything or change anyone in my life.
I suppose the reason I am exploring this is because I am fulfilling these needs with different people as I encounter them in my life instead of forcing a relationship upon myself to fulfill them. It has been a great experience because each encounter is a new on and I have learned so much about life and myself.
I see each women I encounter right now as an experience: Physical, emotional, spiritual, professions, philosophical…you name it. It’s basically Star Trek with women, I guess.
Don’t get me wrong, if I got in a relationship I wouldn’t do this, because if I were in a relationship with someone I see enough there where all these needs would be fulfilled or can achieve it at some point.
This is Voltron Girl.